It’s that time of the year: Reflections (Boohoo).

Happy New Year!!! (If the greeting is still appropriate 👀).

My end-of-year blog entry is a tad delayed. The first week of January was a little bit busier than I expected it to be, heh. Regardless, I wanted to make sure that this entry came out so I can look back on my progress years later. Let’s cut to the chase—I hated the last bit of 2023, which makes me hate the whole of 2023 #GirlMath.

There are usually two types of people when it comes to the New Year. You either love it or hate it and I usually find myself in the latter group. I have this thing where I dread the end of the year. I think it’s because I feel afraid of what the following year would bring and at the same time, just really sad at how time flew right by. But 2023 has genuinely felt like the longest year I have ever lived through (seriously, it felt like I lived two years in one) and for the first time, I actually could not wait for the year to come to an end. I will gladly bid good riddance to 2023, I hope a year like this never hits me again.

Honestly, the first half was GREAT. Despite the everyday struggles—I travelled, got together with Darren, did fairly well in school, graduated (NGL, I was so happy to be done with school), travelled again, earned some money doing what I loved… Things started taking a turn when I decided to join an industry I had zero knowledge about. Towards the second half of the year, I was feeling both emotionally and mentally drained. And there was no one to blame, but myself. I hated what I got myself into. Here’s the thing about me, I take a lot of pride in what I do. And anytime I don’t get something out the way I envisioned it, I would feel an immense amount of anxiety.

After many conversations with a couple of different individuals later, it dawned upon me that I was probably experiencing what is known as an “Imposter Syndrome”. You might ask, what is that? It’s defined this way–Impostor syndrome refers to the state of feeling uneasy and not internally acknowledging success, even when externally achieving high performance in objective measures. Individuals grappling with this condition often perceive themselves as "frauds'' or "phonies," casting doubt on their own abilities (thank you, ChatGPT).

Oh-my-goodness, that was kinda how I was feeling. Although I was being paid pretty well as a fresh grad and was given the choice to work from home most of the week, I felt almost purposeless. I won’t bore you with a long ass essay but here’s a summarized version of what I learnt in 2023 (P.S. I’m still learning to nail this adulting thing too so take the two-cents at your own risk):

Stay in your lane.
Trust the process.

Don’t ask me why but for a long time, I wanted to be anything but creative. But I’m starting to realize, I THRIVE & do so well as a creative. I love researching and executing campaigns, seeing what works and doesn’t, coming up with ideas, designing, thinking on my feet so on and so forth. So, here’s lesson no. 1, do what you love, not what you loathe (or think you’re supposed to do). Don’t try to make a living doing something that you know you have absolutely zero interest in. Every one of us is gifted in different areas of life, so instead of trying to be someone you’re not, stay in your lane and grow in what you know you’re already good at or want to be good at.

Secondly, trust your process. I have this tendency to compare my progress a lot with someone else’s highlight reel, and I think that might be a problem with our generation. We understand it in theory, but we often fail to grasp that everybody’s path and pace are different. We probably don’t realize this often enough but when we start comparing, we sell ourselves short. Instead of learning and growing from the season in which we find ourselves, we waste time yearning for somebody else’s story to be ours. A short note to my friends who can’t seem to stop comparing the success of those around you to your progress–You’ll be okay! And as Dory would say, just keep swimming!

With all that said, I’m determined to make my 2024 a good one but I don’t believe in goal setting or setting a New Year’s Resolution. They’re vague and quite frankly, useless. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had “LOSE WEIGHT” on my list and it has never actually happened. I was recently introduced to this book called “Atomic Habits” written by James Clear and if there’s one thing I love about the book, it’s how practical it gets. Essentially, it highlights how daily habits can change the trajectory of our lives. Somehow we all have this idea in mind that one massive action will bring success into our lives and so many of us are waiting for *THAT ONE BIG MOMENT*. But that’s not how success works. You make success happen with the little daily habits you build within your lifestyle and that’s what I plan to do in 2024–But fret not, I won’t go into that.

That's enough sappy New Year’s reflection for one entry. Once again, good riddance 2023 👋🏼 Here’s to a new year! Thank you (again) for reading this entry. 💞 What about you? Any plans for 2024? For instance, T. SWIFT CONCERT???